What is coaching?
Coaching is about creating 2 things in the coachee:
Here's what I know:
1. Where you direct your attention is paramount. You can grow something in your business just by spending your attention on it. Take your attention away from anything, and it will diminish. I encourage you to explore this in meditation and strengthen the skill of directing your attention. Your entire experience of reality is determined by what you pay attention to.
2. You are powerful, because you have free will. Our power comes from how we deploy our free will. Free will is the mechanism that allows us to direct our attention. We may not be able to control our thoughts, but free will gives us the ability to choose amongst our thoughts, and therefore, the impact of our emotions, narratives, and realities. It is within our power to choose what any event means to us. Your free will is the key to your liberation, and the end to your suffering. When you choose freely, you can change your brain, your thoughts, your actions, and the outcomes of your life.
3. The most exciting science behind this can be summarized in one word: Neuroplasticity. By directing your free will, you are rewiring your brain. This is the act of choosing a different thought or reaction, perspective or meaning. Neurons that have wired together can be unstuck and reformed into new connections and patterns (this is known as myelination). I think this is the most fascinating and empowering discovery in human potential in the 21st century. (Couple this with what we now know about the reticular activating system, the theory of selective attention, and the anterior cingulate cortex, and our potential comes unmasked!)
The leader you want to become, the teams, culture, and communities you want to build are all within your reach. Because with your attention (aka focus) and free will (aka power), you are a force that is capable of creating. Just as you took an idea and turned it into a business, you can take an intention and turn it into thriving teams, growth, and revenue. You can choose. You are the designer of your human experience. You are the founder of You.
You see, our limitations are often not based in the physical. Rather, they are mental. When Roger Bannister did the "impossible" by running a 4 minute mile, he opened the floodgates for many others to do so as well. This was no demonstration of physical evolution, but rather, an update to a mental model.
You can update your mental models at any time you choose. Our phones get software upgrades all the time -- why not you? What software version are you running?
Where to start?
1. Gain immense and detailed awareness of what you avoid, i.e. feelings, people, situations. What we resist can dictate our behavior, even more so than what we crave. Identify what you avoid and avoid them just 10% less, and your outcomes will change. You may find yourself addressing conflict, expressing your true self, and taking on greater responsibilities or risks. Be willing. Discomfort is the beginning of growth. Radical acceptance and curiosity are your keys.
2. Awaken your imagination. Your imagination is the most powerful, limitless tool for creation that you have. Use it! Dream, wonder, and create, all in your mind, and then bring those ideas into reality. Tap into the art of possibility. Best case scenarios are much more likely if you imagine them first.
3. Take radical ownership over every aspect of your waking experience. By taking radical ownership over your actions, thoughts, and impact, you will realize your agency and power. Don't blame others. Make this your operating maxim, and your anxiety, stress, and fear will fade.
4. Manage your energy, not your time. This is the #1 secret to performance, productivity, maximizing your strengths, and thriving wellness.
5. Learn how to forgive for your own sake. Holding onto grudges, big or small, hurt you in both personal and professional spaces. Saint Augustine said, “Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” This includes forgiving yourself. Forgive, and direct that energy toward forward progress.
Here's the good news: there's only upside. You can start anytime, simply by choosing anew, again and again. By raising our awareness of existing patterns and beliefs, and intentionally redesigning & rewiring our brains, we can maximize our potential, and unleash the leaders, partners, and teammates we were meant to be. We can come home to our highest selves, and live our dreams. We can build the change we want to see in the world.
This is what I think entrepreneurship is all about. I hope you zero in on your mission and purpose, craft your strategy, and empower your people. I hope you find your gifts and spend your lifetime giving them away.
Here's to you,
Mindfulness-based Coach for Founders